Motherhood has completely taken me by storm.
It’s not that I don’t feel like I have the time or energy to shoot anymore, it’s just that being with Florence has completely triumphed everything else in my life. I could scream it from a mountain top, “I LOVE HER” . Being a mom freaking rocks. I feel like I (very painfully) birthed a best friend/ life-long buddy. She makes everything better. I mean besides the whole pumping 10x a day thing, that I could be done with. But for her? Yeah, I’d do it 12x if I had to.
… And I’m definitely not trying to act like I have this whole motherhood thing down pat, I don’t. It’s haaaaard. Draining. Exhausting. But somehow, so unbelievably worth it.
After lots of DMs through Instagram I thought it was about time I share her birth story. I’m only 4 months late!
Jan 17, 2019 - 5 lbs 11 oz - 19 in - 3:49pm
It twas a cold and dark winter night on January 16, 2019, Marc and I were off to our 38 week ultrasound. We were warned 2 weeks prior that there was a small and very unlikely chance we’d be induced at our follow up ultrasound due to the fact Flora was on the particularly small side (11th percentile). They told me to pack a hospital bag just in case. And I’ll be honest, I did, but… I basically didn’t. I think I threw a toothbrush and a nursing bra in there. I was just in such denial that I was having a baby still. I was the worst planner. Nonetheless, I brought my very liberally packed bag and we were off. To our surprise Florence dropped from the 11th percentile to the 3rd in a matter of 10 days and just like that we were sent to labor and delivery to be induced.
We made our rounds of phone calls to family and friends, I changed into that weird yet surprisingly comfy gown thing and up the catheter with an inflatable balloon went (ouch). Yeah you might not want to google that…
About 3h later, around midnight, I started getting contractions and that went on until about 7am when they removed the horrible contraption only to notice I didn’t dilate at all (they told me I’d most likely be at 4-5 cm in the am) SO THEY PUT IT BACK IN (double ouch). And if that wasn’t bad enough they also gave me an IV of Pitocin to move everything along.
And then the real fun began. I stupidly thought I was superwoman and told my midwife I didn’t want an epidural, I have a high pain tolerance, I said. Silly, silly me. Contractions got worse and worse and I went from laboring on the floor, to the shower, to the tub, anything to relieve the pressure in my back. I started to beg for the epidural only to hear my Midwife tell me it wasn’t in the birth plan. Thankfully I had my mom there (who birthed 6 kids of her own) coaching me and of course my loving and supportive fiancé, who I think still has PTSD from the whole ordeal (sorry love).
Hours went by and I was stuck at 5-6cm in what felt like an eternity. Feeling completely defeated, in tears, soaking wet from the tub, I finally felt that incredibly powerful urge to push (despite the Midwife’s urging tone not to), and in just 3 pushes my lovely Florence Faye flew out at 3:49pm weighing in at 5 lb 11 oz.
And despite everything you just read I immediately forgot all the pain, the long labor, the third degree tear Florence gave me as a parting gift, and I just felt my baby girl on my chest and knew I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Childbirth was the most rewarding and humbling thing I’ve ever done. I feel proud I did it the natural way, not to brag and sound like I’m better than everyone, but it gave me such an appreciation for women. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years, with 99% of that was spent without the help of medicine. Those women in the 16th century who had 10+ kids? LIKE HOW? Women are AMAZING. And I’m not going to lie, I feel amazing, and empowered, and more beautiful than I’ve ever felt having Florence in my arms. Despite the loose skin, extra fat, leaky boobs, and tired, makeup-less eyes.
Childbirth is magical.